What's become of my church searching journey?

Some people may wonder why there was a halt to my blogging with no real explanation. I did have someone ask whether I had found a church or not. The answer is yes and no. I found two churches that I liked very much and would highly recommend.

One is Crossroads Christian. It's a nondenominational church, as well as being a bigger church if that is your inclination. There are certainly quite a few good things that come with a larger church--more people to meet and be in fellowship with, more financial resources with which to help people in the community, more opportunities to serve. In my opinion, there are also some negatives with larger congregations. There's the lack of accountability unless you are involved with a small group, the increased anonymity, the ability to fall through the cracks, the tendency to somewhat "dumb down" or otherwise change the message of the gospel, and often a difficulty getting to know anyone unless you are an outgoing and naturally gregarious person.

The other church is Twin Pines Christian Church. It's a smaller church and associated with the Disciples of Christ denomination. Having grown up in the denomination, I am very comfortable with it. On top of that, it was hands down the most friendly church I may have ever been to. There is a certain attitude that seems to emanate from smaller churches. They truly and sincerely want you to come back. They truly and sincerely want to get to know you and your talents. Big churches have enough congregants. They don't feel apathetic about your attendance, but they have no real incentive to get to know their attendees. In small churches, you are often a very vital part of the congregation. Being part of a smaller talent pool, any job you do very often has no one else to do it. This can result in feeling like you are being taken advantage of, of course! You are much more involved in the direction of the church.

I don't mean this post to turn into a large church vs. small church debate. I was rehashing some of the highlights of what I liked about each of the two churches that I visited and very much liked. I think I will be writing another post about the virtue of small churches vs. large churches some time in the future.

The end of my journey to find a church home is due mainly to the fact that at some point, I felt a crisis of faith. I often don't like the people I meet at church. They can be sanctimonious and holier-than-thou. They are usually close-minded and can be hateful. They are superficial. In short, they are not the kind of people I want to be around. They distract me from my worship instead of adding to it.

For now, I'll be worshiping on my own in quiet and solitude. There are more than a few spiritual questions that I have been and will be wrestling with. I believe it may take a while to work through them, and I've not had the time, inclination, or emotional/spiritual energy to deal with them yet. I may soon, but it still may be a while. I enjoy the sharing and the format of blogging, and I may share some of my struggle here.

Until then, the peace of God be with you.