Are we supposed to be serving the church or is the church supposed to be serving us?

I pass by churches all the time that say some version of this on their signboards: "Don't ask what your church can do for you, ask what you can do for your church." I can't even express how offensive this is to me. It's very self-serving on the church's part. I would never want to go to that church because it comes across to me as being a church that is looking for people who will give all they have to the church in both time and money. It is a church that is looking to take from its people and not to give back.

I certainly don't think that any church should be solely for serving people. Likewise, I don't think any church should be solely for people serving. Extremes are not good in Christianity, let alone in the secular world.


It is offensive to me that the church should be self-seeking. It is offensive to me that this is exactly the opposite of Jesus' message! Jesus owned nothing but the cloak on his back and his sandals. He may have asked for a place to stay as he traveled, for food to eat, but mainly Jesus served. He healed the sick, raised the dead, drove out demons.

Yes, Jesus calls us to serve, as he called His Disciples. He does not call us to serve churches. He calls us to serve individuals, to serve people. He does not ask us to give all of our time or our money. He asks us to give according to our ability. There are those who have money, and there are those who have time. You have the choice where you give your time and your money.

Church can give us opportunities to serve others, but church service is not serving God. I know that churches cannot function without volunteer service, but church service should not be the way that service is performed. No church should compel anyone to serve, either. Service is something that should come from the heart, from your gratitude for salvation, from a desire to give back because your cup overflows.

How much good could be done if churches were not buildings? How many homeless could we feed, clothe, and house if our money went directly to that instead of to church buildings, technology, and PR staff? Worship needs no building, Christ's followers and Christ's service need no church.

Worship

I was on the road driving during "church time" yesterday. I live in the South, and there is the tendency of people here to look at you like you are a horrible sinner if you're caught away from church on Sunday morning. I find myself falling into the category of people who church worship isn't appropriate for. For many years, I loved church. I liked the people I met there, the music, the message. After six years living in a highly socially liberal area, I find that I don't much like the people who go to church here. This is a generalization, so it doesn't apply to all churchgoers in this area.

I feel like that people who say "Have a Blessed day!" are trying to convince you of their piety. It grates on my nerves. I don't care about your piety. I'm more concerned about whether or not your a nice person. Piety does not equal nicety.

There are signs in people's yards and on their cars. They are mysterious in order to get you to visit their website or buy into their ideas. Everyone wants to display what church they are a part of. It feels like they are rubbing it in your face that they go to church. Going to church also does not equal being a nice person. 

These aren't people that I want to spend time with. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to listen to them. I don't want to be near them. I don't want to be judged by them, because they seem to think that being pious and going to church are the things that make you worthwhile.

I still worship, even though I don't go to church. I look at the beautiful sunset and think how great is the power of God. I wonder at how perfectly the Earth was made in order to sustain life. I listen to the giggles of a two-year-old and think how wonderful it is to be that amazed by new things every time.

The world is my sacred space. Life is my worship. How do you worship?

What's become of my church searching journey?

Some people may wonder why there was a halt to my blogging with no real explanation. I did have someone ask whether I had found a church or not. The answer is yes and no. I found two churches that I liked very much and would highly recommend.

One is Crossroads Christian. It's a nondenominational church, as well as being a bigger church if that is your inclination. There are certainly quite a few good things that come with a larger church--more people to meet and be in fellowship with, more financial resources with which to help people in the community, more opportunities to serve. In my opinion, there are also some negatives with larger congregations. There's the lack of accountability unless you are involved with a small group, the increased anonymity, the ability to fall through the cracks, the tendency to somewhat "dumb down" or otherwise change the message of the gospel, and often a difficulty getting to know anyone unless you are an outgoing and naturally gregarious person.

The other church is Twin Pines Christian Church. It's a smaller church and associated with the Disciples of Christ denomination. Having grown up in the denomination, I am very comfortable with it. On top of that, it was hands down the most friendly church I may have ever been to. There is a certain attitude that seems to emanate from smaller churches. They truly and sincerely want you to come back. They truly and sincerely want to get to know you and your talents. Big churches have enough congregants. They don't feel apathetic about your attendance, but they have no real incentive to get to know their attendees. In small churches, you are often a very vital part of the congregation. Being part of a smaller talent pool, any job you do very often has no one else to do it. This can result in feeling like you are being taken advantage of, of course! You are much more involved in the direction of the church.

I don't mean this post to turn into a large church vs. small church debate. I was rehashing some of the highlights of what I liked about each of the two churches that I visited and very much liked. I think I will be writing another post about the virtue of small churches vs. large churches some time in the future.

The end of my journey to find a church home is due mainly to the fact that at some point, I felt a crisis of faith. I often don't like the people I meet at church. They can be sanctimonious and holier-than-thou. They are usually close-minded and can be hateful. They are superficial. In short, they are not the kind of people I want to be around. They distract me from my worship instead of adding to it.

For now, I'll be worshiping on my own in quiet and solitude. There are more than a few spiritual questions that I have been and will be wrestling with. I believe it may take a while to work through them, and I've not had the time, inclination, or emotional/spiritual energy to deal with them yet. I may soon, but it still may be a while. I enjoy the sharing and the format of blogging, and I may share some of my struggle here.

Until then, the peace of God be with you.

Twin Pines Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)

I have to give this church a Friendliest Church award! I arrived 10 minutes before the church was to start and was greeted by at least 3 people. Not just hi, how are you greetings, but who are you greetings. Quality greetings along with the quantity! I had more people greet me after the service--something like half a dozen. At no time did I feel overwhelmed by people greeting me, and I felt very much that they wanted to know who I was and to have me return to church. They also gave me a welcome bag as I left. Talk about a warm welcome!

Twin Pines is currently holding their services in an alternate location in their building due to renovations. Instead of pews, there were chairs set up. The accoustics were a bit of a problem, to be honest. There was an echo at first, but they realized it and dealt with it appropriately. It was difficult to hear the choir and the instruments to some extent. I daresay that it isn't a problem when they are in their sanctuary.

They had a small choir, two guitarists, a keyboardist, and a drummer. The pastor doubled as one of the guitarists! All of the pastors at the church are women, and that's certainly something I can get on board with!

They had a children's moment where they took up a "noisy collection," asking for your pocket change. That was the first time I'd heard it referred to like that. I think that everyone there enjoyed it. Talk about a great way to part with your money!

They state in the bulleting that they have a nursery for ages birth to 3, then invite children up to 2nd grade to participate in a children's service called Worship & Wonder. I felt like the church was very child-friendly, but I think that the Jewish faith has it right when they hold bar/bat mitzvahs at age 13 to celebrate the advent of adulthood. Children between 2nd grade and 8th or so fall through the cracks in this way. I don't think that those kids get anything out of sitting through a church service. In the same way, I think that it's also not a good idea to have a separate service for teenagers. An additional service/group, yes. Separate, no.

The only other comments I have to make are that the communion service was interesting. They used little cups, but in addition to communion squares, they also had a piece of bread you could tear off, catering to either preference. Everyone drank their cup at the same time, which is a bit too ritualistic for me.

I really enjoyed my visit to Twin Pines, and I will most likely visit again in the future. I am really enjoying journeying through the different churches in the area, meeting all the people and seeing each church's quirks, rituals, and personality. I'm not ready to settle down and commit yet, so to speak!

Dear Churches,

Dear Churches,

On behalf of anyone who has ever attended church: please discontinue the "Meet n' Greet" portion of the service immediately. We know that you want us to think that you are a friendly church. You probably are a friendly church. Most people who go to church are friendly.

Contrary to popular belief, the Meet n' Greet actually keeps you from being a friendly church. For one, it's not long enough for anything more than a short greeting. It's not enough time for me to get to know anyone else at the church. It's not enough time for you to get to know me and ask me to come back again.

It's also an excuse for no one to talk to me again for the entire service. No one has to ask me what my name is or what I do. No one has to say that they hope they will see me again next week. No one has to look at me or care if I come back the next week.

Let's face it. It's important that your church makes a good first impression. The mega churches get members to come back because of their assorted services and groups. Why not bring people back because they feel a connection. I know you mean well, but the Meet n' Greet is not the way to do make that first impression.

Sincerely,
A Churchsurfer

Center Point Church

When I first began attending Center Point, they held their services at Regal theaters in Hamburg. It definitely wasn't your typical church service. They have since moved to a storefront behind the Kroger on Richmond Rd. You can check out their website here if you are interested in attending.

They have a full praise and worship band, complete with electric guitars and drums. The music was great! The worship leader was really enthusiastic and passionate about his faith. In addition to leading worship, he delivered the message on more than one occasion.

I was greeted at the door, and the greeters remembered my name the following week. The church is made up of mostly younger attendees--college-aged or young families. There were a few families with teenagers as well. The attire is strictly casual, and most people wear jeans.

I felt welcomed at first. However, one of the vital functions of a church is to make connections, to have a fellowship. People were very friendly and welcoming. It was mostly a "Hi, how are you?" rhetorical question as opposed to really being interested in getting to know me. Most churches have Sunday School or small group options on Sunday morning. Center Point has what they call Connect groups, and you were offered these as a way to get in touch with people.

I advocate being involved with church more than once a week. I have never wanted to be a Sunday Christian. It's important that you serve as well, either at church or some other opportunity in the community. The reality is that most people are very busy with their family's activities during the week.

With that in mind, I think it is essential that a church fosters fellowship relationships during the Sunday service. At Center Point, I never felt like anyone's conversation with me went anything farther than a surface connection. I attended church several times and never felt like anyone was interested in getting to know me.

I thought when I started attending this church that it was a nondenominational church. Boy, was I wrong! I stayed after the Sunday morning service for their Intro to Center Point session. The three men on the pastoral staff led the session and talked about the history of the church, how the senior pastor chose Lexington as the location for his church plant. Personally, I think we have quite enough churches as it is!

Then came the bomb. They're part of the Southern Baptist convention. Yes, that convention. Where women are not welcome as leaders in ministry. Where divorce is not tolerated. Where homosexuality is decried as the worst sin.

I'm not one to jump to conclusions, though. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and did not ask about women in ministry in the open session. Instead, I emailed the pastor. I received a very nice, very prompt reply telling me that the church adheres to the scripture in 1 Timothy. In short, while women are welcome in leadership positions in the church, they are not welcome in pastorate positions. That was the last time I attended a service at Center Point

In essence, Center Point was not for me. I am too much of a feminist to feel comfortable attending a church where women were not treated equally. I felt a little bit like they were Baptist on the down low. They were definitely not open and honest about their Baptist doctrine. I ended up with the feeling that I was lied to the whole time I was attending.

I was actually attending with a friend at the time, and I believe my friend still attends the church. I know that my experience isn't the only one. It's just mine. I would love to hear from other people who have attended the church and might have had a different experience.

I'm a slacker!

So, I didn't go to church yesterday. School starts this week, and I wanted to sleep in as many days as possible. I am NOT a morning person, and that's something that definitely hinders my churchgoing.

I'm going to post about a church that I attended when I first moved back to Lexington last fall some time tomorrow. Stay tuned for more churchsurfing!